You Spin Me 'Right Round
by Zarius
Summary: Penfold, Squawk, Nero, a chair and a temper...what can possibly go right...and THEN wrong? (spoilers for "Never Say Clever Again")


**DANGERMOUSE:**

 **YOU SPIN ME RIGHT 'ROUND**

 **WRITTEN BY ZARIUS**

 **Disclaimer: Dangermouse (2015) and all trademarked characters are property of Fremantle Media and CBBC**

* * *

Hey, this isn't a furry biscuit, it's the microphone.

A microphone? Is it made by McCain's by any chance?

No, no cut it out, get this wretched celery out of your system narrator, and hold on a minute, I just need to skip to the loo again.

Wait a moment.

Wait-a-moment.

Ahhhhhhhhhh.

Well, that's a relief. Just wait until I flush and wash my hands, there we go.

Excuse me while I clear my throat, that's it.

Ok.

London, and within DM's mailbox headquarters, Dangermouse talks to Colonel K about the recent events involving the sabotage of the super smart celery...try saying those six sentences quickly.

"This is the second instance of Nero infiltrating our base Colonel, this surely can't go on" said DM

"You're right DM, we may have to start passing out intelligence tests to anyone who wants access to the lab" the Colonel suggested, "Say, where's the other fellow?"

"He's gone off to try and calm Squawkecluck down, she's insistent on the interrogation of Pandaminion and Nero" DM revealed

In the catacombs of the agency's special cells, Nero defiantly stuck his tongue out at the very cross cockerel Squawkencluck.

"Persist in that with me and I'll give you a real tongue lashing" she said.

Penfold gently placed a hand on her shoulder, "Come on Professor, you know he can't exactly own up to anything, he doesn't even know the English language, try asking Pandaminion something"

"That's easier said than done" the Professor replied, "He's gone into silent running"

She pointed to him on a nearby treadmill, jogging along, and not making a peep, not even a pant, from his mouth.

"Oh, I'm sorry Professor" Penfold replied

Squawkencluck sank into her chair; Penfold opted to give it a bit of a spin

"Penfold cut it out" she said, giggling a little.

"Why? Enjoying it too much Professor?" Penfold asked.

"This is really silly, we're supposed to be professionals here, all this fun in front of the little furry vermin, and it's bound to give him a lesser opinion of us" the Professor added.

"Then all the more reason to show what we're more capable of than he is...having fun in the face of danger" Penfold replied.

Nero looked on anxiously and with great frustration as the two engaged in their completely balmy means of escapism from the rigorous pressures of the usual business associated with their organization.

Penfold knew that keeping her mind off of the corruption of her invention, keeping her from contemplating how easy it was to turn a means of bettering the cream of the agency's crop into a means of deterring them, was the right way to go.

Nero's eyes widened and he gave the pair a sympathetic gaze.

"Oh I do think he wants to join in" Penfold said, picking Nero up and placing him in the Professor's lap

"Have you had another batch of my celery Penfold? There's no way I'm touching him" the Professor replied, trying to brush Nero aside, "Get this midge off of me"

"Just let him sit in your lap Professor, he won't bite, he just wants a ride" Penfold said, giving the chair another spin. Nero let out small yelps of joy, and snuggled up.

"Ok, Ok, I'm a little bit dizzy now, could you cut it out, at least 'till I get off of it?" the Professor replied, Penfold obliged.

Nero sat alone on the chair, allowing him to be continuously spun as Penfold and Squawkencluck took turns with the chair.

Dangermouse walked in on them, and was curious as to what this had been all about.

"We're transferring Nero over to the lunar prison so he can be with his master. I trust you've been behaving yourselves?" he asked.

"Everything's right as rain Dangermouse, Penfold here's been showing me a wee bit of domestic bliss with Nero" Squawkencluck said, stroking Nero's chin, "He's such a cute little beastie, I don't know why I ever thought he was..."

A quick bite of her finger sent her into a fit once again, she violently spun the chair so wildly that the ensuing g-forces were enough to catapult Nero off of the seat and into the wall, carving a nero-shaped hole through it.

"At least that proves one theory I had...there really is enough room to swing a pet in here" she declared.

DM laughed.

"What's so funny about that chief?" Penfold replied.

"Well it's a traditional way to wrap up an episode Penfold, you know how it goes, a bad pun is made, everyone in the ensemble laughs, we freeze frame, there's credits while you wave goodbye to the audience..."

"Seriously Chief, I should call animal services after what she just did..." Penfold added.

"Could you please cut to something else narrator? I'd hate to end this fic on an awkward note..." DM said.

Spot on DM.

The moral of the story is that it's better to spin things around in the right way. Even if it means the literal sense.

Well, erm, there's still a little bit of time left so why don't I entertain you with the fact that after today's episode ended I couldn't switch off the CBBC channel because it was clashing with an episode of Giraffe Warriors over on POP? Yes, I watch POP, what's it to you? And no, don't presume I watch it just for Giraffe Warriors and that wretched Sabrina cartoon. Sabrina's never been the same since the live-action one ended...


End file.
